From my previous post in 2016, ive promised to update every 2 weeks and i didnt know that “2weeks” is already almost 2 years now. Haha. Sorry lovelies! I dont know what have been stopping me from writing. Time? Business? Family? Ntahlah, selalu tertanya2 diri kenapa malas sangat nak blog skrg.. mungkin sebab happy with life now? Erm dulu tak happy ke?? oklah, jom cerita sikit the phases i went through and i believe everybody is going through and went through the same thing.
4 Stages of Life.
Heard of it? Im sure u all do. Lets go stage by stage.
First stage - Mimic
Kita semua di lahirkan helpless. We cant walk, cant talk. Sebab tu kita ada parents, orang keliling, friends to help us. As "children" the way we learn is by watching and mimicking others. At that stage, i was a follower. Orang buat tu, i pun nak buat. Orang blog kita blog. Orang kahwin kita kahwin. Orang #ootd kita pun nak #ootd. Btol tak? Bila dah puas ikut orang itu ini, kesedaran tu akan datang sendiri, eh why im doing this? so not cool. But from this first stage lah i belajar dari kesilapan, belajar untuk buat keputusan.
So kesilapan yang paling besar during my first stage of life is -Kahwin terburu2. Yup! tahun 2010 ialah tahun my batch kahwin, almost all my school friends at that time are getting married. So, sbgai follower yang tak begitu matang ketika itu, nak kahwin jugak. So kahwin! Jodoh kami tak panjang oleh sebab tiada persefahaman dari hari pertama kahwin sampailah saat bercerai. Demi Allah, tiada penyesalan dalam diri atas penceraian itu, sebaliknya terasa sangat 'bebas' dan lega yang teramat. Dalam hal ni, i tak salahkan sesiapa. Semua orang buat silap, dan ada hikmah di sebaliknya. And apa hikmahnya?? Baca sampai habis.
Second Stage - Self Discovery
In this second stage, Allah bagi i peluang untuk kenal diri sendiri. It involved a lot of trial-and-error and experimentation. For example, I have Masters in Human Recource Development, but i dont want to work coz i hate interviews (stupid reason I know) So i tried a lot of business. Duit tak payah cakap lah, banyak habis sini sana semua tak jadi. In this stage jugak i got the chance to experiment living in new place - ran off to Istanbul and work with dad. (tak payah interview haha).
Sebelum mula kerja, dad said enjoy la dulu hilangkan stress (kononnya lepas divorce kan) and kebetulan masa tu few friends of mine are coming to Istanbul for vacation. So apa lagi, i joinlah jadi tourist guide hehe. Dan ketika itu jugalah Allah pertemukan i dengan Mr. F. Sangat strategic aturan Allah kan? SubhanaAllah. Perkenalan dgn Mr. F selama 2 tahun membuatkan kami dan hubungan itu matang, dan banyak juga i belajar dari kesilapan dulu supaya ia tak berulang. Terus terang i cakap, bukan senang, it was a long-distance relationship. I balik Malaysia setahun sekali masa tu and baru dapat jumpa. Alhamdulillah after 2 years, kami kahwin!
Third stage - Commitment
So at third stage is the great consolidation of ones life. Now u can start to say goodbye to the friends who draining u, goodbye to all hobbies that are mindless waste of time and the angan2 mat jenin that are clearly not coming true anytime soon.
At this stage lah i started to know my real friends, yang dulu2 ade berpuluh2 kawan, tapi real friends sebenarnya alahai sikit je. I jugak rasa nikmat perrkahwinan tu. SubhanaAllah nikmatnya sungguh indah, tak terucap dgn kata2. Patutlah orang cakap kahwn tu best! Hehe.. Ya, masih baru.. dan terlalu awal untuk cakap apa tapi I doa agar Allah pinjamkan kebahagiaan ini hingga ke JannahNya. Amin InsyaAllah
Generally, at this stage, u focus what ure best at. Alhamdulillah, im best at beading and till now Queen Sequeen is going strong! Focus on the most important relationships in ur life. Suami nombor satu! Third stage is where u get everything done.
So im still at my third stage of life, baru nak start a stable life with husband. Genap dua tahun, kami tunggu dan Alhamdulillah im currently 18 weeks pregnant. Macam2 usaha kami buat tapi Allah lebih tahu bila kami 'bersedia'.
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Okey lovelies, its 2.30am now.. waiting for Mr. F to get my Mc.D.. (not me, its the baby!). Till my next entry. good night!
